And Now, a Word from Hollywood

I love birthdays.  I love parties.  I love planning birthday parties.  Sooo much fun!

But I've been off my game lately.  Between the new baby and moving, this has not been a shining year for parties for me.  Mostly we've been just doing sleepovers and family stuff.  We celebrated Henry's party yesterday with a movie and Chuck E. Cheese's for the family.

As I sat in the darkened theater, watching hippie Martians hug, it occurred to me that Hollywood these days seems a bit heavy handed with their morals and messages.  Has it always been this way?  It seems to me that this is a more recent phenomenon.  Or at least maybe in past years they've been more subtle about it.

We were watching Mars Needs Moms.  It was a decent little flick.  Cute, made me cry, and pretty squeaky clean as far as language, violence, and sex goes.  A PG movie like you'd like to expect PG movies to be.

But whoooeeee was it propaganda!  Not bad propaganda necessarily since it was a message I didn't mind my kids hearing, but it definitely wasn't subtle.  It was the conservative's version of Artic Tale or Walle.

The general premise is that years ago Mars started tossing their males on the trash heap (literally) because they are "dumber than a box of rocks".  Males raise the male babies down in hippie-love trashland and females run the world and have the female babies raised by nannybots in a very strict, technologically advanced, and militarized society.

The moral?  Guys are good for something, love your mom, and the two parent family is best.

I can get wholeheartedly behind the first two, but cramming that third one down people's throats rubs me the wrong way.  I mean, we're a two parent family.  I like two parents families, I'm all for them.

But while I'm pro-two-parent-family, I'm not anti-single-parent either.  Everybody's gotta do what they gotta do.  Sometimes maybe the guy does need to be tossed on the trash heap, especially if he's tripping on psychedelic drugs.  And where does that leave mom?  Well she has no choice but to go to work in the Martian army and leave her offspring in the care of nannybots.

Just sayin'.

And while I was pondering the additional pro-graffiti message of Mars Needs Moms, it reminded me of Weeds.

No, the hippie monkey men of Mars weren't smoking MJ, but I've been watching episodes of Weeds for the first time lately and I was also surprised at how heavy handed that show is too.

I'm not talking about the pro-marijuana legalization message, because that's actually one thing that I don't really see in that show.  No hardcore "weed rocks" messages there.

But what Weeds seems to be doing is trying to gather together a more degenerate audience (you know, the type that would be attracted to a show called "Weeds") and help them along the road to educated and enlightened middle class.

For example, the multigenerational, black, drug-dealing family is very up on their modern parenting skills.  The new baby is worn in a sling and breastfed.  The new mama sends Conrad out for a breastpump and then sends him BACK when he brings home the wrong one.

Tell me guys, which do you think is worse, buying tampons or buying a breastpump?  I felt bad for the guy, but was impressed at the pro-breastfeeding message woven into the story.

It was after this particular episode that I started to notice that Weeds seemed to be full of these little "The More You Know" type moments.

Heylia warns against being too germ-phobic with the new baby.  We get mini history lessons on Noriega and several other topics throughout season 1 and 2.  The list goes on.  And I'm not even to season 3 yet (still waiting on that one - I requested it from the library - gotta love MNLink!)

Again with this one, I like the messages, but they stick out like a sore thumb!  We're smarter than that, Hollywood!  If you want us to take our pill you are going to have to hide it deeper in that spoonful of ice cream.

Have you noticed any particularly blatant propaganda-ing in your recreational media these days?

Barbie is my Role Model

I started out this whole mothering thing getting broken in by two boys.  While we certainly have had our trials, toys for them has been pretty easy.  Try to avoid too much senseless violence (no toy Glocks) and you're pretty much good to go.  They love blocks, cars, dress up, legos, all that stuff.  And I'm happy with their choice in toys too.  Very much focused on machines and building and adventuring.  Good stuff.

Now that my oldest daughter is starting to have definite toy preferences though, it is getting to be a trickier game.  The oversexualization and princessifying of girls is a real sticky wicket for me.  Vi is a total girl.  The kind of girl I never was and have rarely met in real life.  She's very affectionate, likes to clean, shop, loves to dress pretty and wraps people around her little finger with her big blue eyes any chance she gets.  A blonde bombshell who revels in pink and glitter.  She would make a perfect trophy wife some day.  Or a sexy zoologist.  Or professional wrestler.  Don't get me wrong, she's got brains and muscles too, but she seems to have a definite knack for girly things that has been with her since the day she was born.  And she definitely didn't get it from her football and hockey playing mama.  I am no girly girl for sure.

When we peruse the garage sale toy boxes she inevitably ends up begging for some sparkly monstrosity or stuffed animal.  Which is fine.  Sparkles are fun.  I like furry animals.

But as she gets older, her attention is turning more and more to fashion dolls.  She is a little fashionista for sure.  If you take her shopping and ask her what she wants to look at, you would expect a four year old to say "Toys!".  Oh no, not this one.  She wants to look at shoes or clothes every time.

It's kind of fascinating for me actually.  I was never that type and I guess I just imagined that while yes, my children would be their own individual souls, they would probably be kind of like me.  Hahahahahaha.  I just can't get over her some days.  It's very interesting watching a whole other kind of creature come into being.

But anyways, so I end up pretty torn about dolls.  I always kind of considered Barbie the Great White Satan personally.  But as I look at the choices that are out there for dolls and girls toys, I'm really rethinking my stance on Barbie.

I mean, yes, she has a ridiculous body shape.  There's no getting around that.  It's absurd.  But past that, she's a pretty rockin' chick.

I mean, there are worse dolls out there for sure.

Bratz are a hot item.  But how do they fare as role models?  They are teen girls who are obsessed with fashion.  Fair enough.  Nothing particularly wrong or out of the ordinary with that.  I'd prefer if they were obsessed with science experiments and community service, but hey, I can deal.  Their fashion, however, leaves something to be desired.  It's pretty stripperific.  Some of their signature items are midriff baring tops and skirts so short that they put their lady-flowers on display.  Both of these items are not only against our house rules, but they are also against the dress code of most of the schools in the area.  And these are supposed to be school girls.  Like Barbie, their bodies are pretty unrealistic, but they take it in a pretty freaky direction with giant heads and lips that have definitely undergone a series of collagen injections by the ripe old age of 16.

So, I'm not a big fan of Bratz.  In fact, they aren't allowed in our house.  Period.  Ick.

On the other end of the spectrum we have the Fulla doll.  Have you heard of this one?  The Fulla doll is supposed to be like Barbie for Muslims. She is the epitome of a good Muslim woman.  She always wears her hijab when she leaves the house and her life is focused around family.  She is very modest, so no issues there.  I like her style and I had no idea a headscarf could be so fashionable!  However, she seems a little too one-dimensional as a role model.  She loves fashion, her family, music, and sports, but has no aspirations outside of the home.  They don't have astronaut Fulla and president Fulla to say the least.  Though she does come with a kickin' pink prayer mat.  I like a doll who is not afraid to show her faith.  So I wouldn't mind a Fulla doll around here, but they don't sell them at Minnesota Walmarts (but maybe at Egyptian Walmarts?  Does Egypt have Walmarts?).  And like I said, a little too one-dimensional for my taste.

So let's bring it back to Barbie.  She's as American as apple pie (you decide if that's a good or a bad thing).  She is definitely a fashion queen, but then again that's what Vi likes about her.  But she's more than that.  I had no idea how much more until I looked it up.  Of course she's been in touch with her stereotypical feminine side as a ballerina, babysitter, model, and cheerleader (yuck).  But she's also been a surgeon, special education teacher, paratrooper, UNICEF summit diplomat, firefighter, paleontologist, NASCAR driver, rockstar, bus driver, news anchor, clothing designer, and Starfleet officer.  Barbie has ambition and chutzpah, but also cares for others.  And Barbie graduates every single year.

Not only that, but she managed not to get pregnant until Ken "put a ring on it" despite his irresistable advances.  That is a feat not just anyone can manage.  And while she did have a c-section, she had an old old old school (medieval school) all-natural c-section with no drugs (at least there was none in the pregnant Barbie package I saw).  Props to you Barbie, props to you.

So, as I've grown, Barbie has grown on me too.  She's got balls, she's artsy, she's got a brain, a family, lots of friends, and a rockin' bod.  Barbie, I'm sorry I was so bitchy at you for all those years.  I was just hating you because you were beautiful.  You have my respect and admiration now.  And I would be proud to have you in my house for my daughter to dress and my sons to rip your head off and march around the livingroom chanting "Sac-ri-fice! Sac-ri-fice!".  Yeah.  Sorry about that.  Boys will be boys.

Ebb and Flow

Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was swimming with the current of my life.  Usually I feel like a spawning salmon, struggling and struggling to make any headway upriver.  But yesterday was a decidedly good day.

Nothing earthshaking happened, nothing magical.  Mitch went to school, Dusty went to work, the rest of us went to the library and then just chilled.  But in a way it was a magical day.  Everything just clicked.  I felt like I was getting a peek into the secret garden that normal people live in.  It was all duckies and bunnies, sunshine and rainbows.

But seriously, it was great.  We got up, everyone ate breakfast without whining, and somehow the kids all ended up in coordinating outfits (not purposeful but very cute).  Mitch went to school and we hung out at my uncle's coffee shop and did kindergarten lessons with Henry while waiting for the library to open.  The kids were well behaved, the baked goods were delicious.  We got books and "Weeds: Season 2" from the library and then came home.  I made lunch and did laundry.  I watched Weeds and snuggled the babe in for a nap while the middles made an elaborate setup with the Geotrax up in the playroom.  When the baby was sound asleep we read a bunch of our new library books.  After that, we did some painting, got Mitchell, and did even more painting and train play.

After an uneventful dinner and the dinner dishes done, I took Mitchell to Cub Scouts.  While he was there I went back to the coffee shop to work on some blog posts I have in the hopper.  The evening ended with a few heartfelt tears remedied by some special father-son time for Mitch.  For me, another episode of Weeds for me, followed by snuggling.

See?  Nothing fabulous.  Normal stuff.  Which for us, is fabulous.

There was peace, there was balance, there was marital teamwork.  There was art, there was reading. Thank you God for this soul filling day.  It made me feel like we might actually have the capacity in us somewhere for a normal life.  Or at least as close to normal as I care to be.  And that is a great feeling.

How has your week been?  Any highs you'd like to share?  Lows?  I'm listening...