It's about that time again!

***I wrote this post but didn't publish it right away and over Christmas break got a little distracted by a BABY, coming 2 WEEKS EARLY!  This is unheard of for Wickoren children so we were a little taken by surprise.  More on that to come, but since I had this nice blog post all typed up, I'm going to publish it anyhow because it may still be of use to some of you.***

Something about Christmas and babies just makes me want to blog, so here I am again, two years since my last blog post, and making preparations for celebrating the birth of Christ and the birth of our newest addition, Jasper.  We are planning for a bit of a crowd at Jasper's birth - Dad, Grandma, Auntie Sarah, Big Brother Mitch, and Big Sister Violet - so today I'm looking at birth videos to help prep the two members of our group who have never attended a birth before.  There are tons out there, but as I sort through the good, the bad, and the ugly, I thought I would post the best of the best here in case anyone else is also trying to prepare children or bachelorette sisters for the blessed event and could use some good resources.

This is the first video the kids and I watched.  It's not exactly especially informational, but it's a great gentle introduction to waterbirth - nothing graphic, no screaming or moaning really, no blood.  I used this one to show Ivy (who is the ripe old age of 4 these days) how a baby comes out.  You get to see the baby come out, but through the water and at a very modest angle.  Ivy was pretty impressed and so we watched the pushing stage several times (fast forward to 3:30 if you want to get to the "good stuff").





This video is a decent quick overview of what is happening on the inside during the different stages of labor - a little "behind the scenes" summary.  This one isn't embeddable, but you can see it on YouTube by clicking here.


Here's a nice example of some labor moaning, good for explaining some of the kinds of noises that mom might make in labor...





I think it's helpful for kids, if you want to show more graphic videos, to start with animal videos first, so it's a little less shocking.  It also gives a good you a good opportunity to talk about the amniotic sac.






What I like about this video is that it shows some graphic bits, and there is some screaming, but both of those parts happen underwater so it is a bit blurry and the sounds is muted by the water, so it's a little less intense.  Again, another chance to talk about labor sounds.  And as soon as baby is out, mom is laughing and clearly just so ecstatic to have baby there so you can see that while it was painful for her, as soon as the work is done she is feeling quite good again.




Aaaaand... this one's just for fun, not for kids  ;-)




Do you have any favorite videos or websites to prepare first time birth attendees for the event?

Someday

Ivy is a lucky girl.  While the older kids bite, scratch, tease, hit, scream, and curse at each other, every last one of them adores Ivy.  They play with her, carry her around, keep her safe, teach her things, share their cookies with her, and generally love her.  They fight over who gets to lay next to her at night (usually no one because they can't stop arguing long enough to let her fall asleep) and who gets to pluck her happy self out of bed in the morning.  This morning Violet got the honors (well, actually Daddy got her out of bed but Violet helped).  As I changed Ivy's diaper Violet peeked over my shoulder and made faces at her.


"You love Ivy, huh?" I said.
"Yeah, she's the cutest little baby," Vi replied.
"When you grow up do you think you'll be a mommy someday and have your own baby?" I asked.

Violet pondered that for a moment.  You could see the wheels spinnning.


"I do want to," she said, "But I don't know how to drive."
I chuckled a little, "Don't worry, when you're older I'll teach you how to drive."
"Can you also teach me how to feed a baby with my boobies?" she inquired.
"Sure," I said, "I can help you figure it out."
"Okay," she said, satisfied.

Now that I think about it, as a mother I do spend an inordinate amount of time driving people places and breastfeeding (though never simultaneously).

 Definitely two of the more useful skills in my Mom Toolbelt.

That got me wondering about where the boys were sitting on the issue.  Mitchell used to want to have a wife and family and I wondered what his plans were now.  When we discussed the issue of marriage a few months ago, this is what the boys had to say...

(At this point the boys had already decided they were going to be lifelong roommates)

Mitch: I think I'd like a wife

Henry:  Not me, they kick you off the computer and make you to do chores.

Mitch:  But we need wives, we need someone to take care of the babies.

Henry:  We don't need babies, they're too much work.

Mitch:  Good point.  But we still need wives.  Otherwise who is going to guard the house while we're at work?

Henry:  Okay fine... (he pauses)  ...wait a minute, we can just get a lock!  Then nobody can get in!

Mitch:  Yeah, a lock!

When I asked Mitch today about possible future fatherhood he said no, babies are too much work.  When I asked Henry the same question he had a new sort of answer today.


"No way, having babies is gross!"
"Well, it would be the mama actually having the baby," I offered, "You don't HAVE to watch."
"NO," Henry said, "MAKING the baby is too gross.  I'm never doing that."

I forgot that a while back he had gotten a little persistent with the "Where do babies come from?  And how did they get in there?" questions.  He got more or less the full scoop so he's totally turned off on fatherhood now.  Ah well, best that they think sex is "gross" for as loooong as possible.  I wonder if Violet's answer will change once she has all the specifics on exactly how babies get in there and how they get out. Hmmmm...

What about your kids?  Do they think they want to be parents some day?

The View From Here: Keep Your Eye on the Ball

As I stood doing dishes in front of the open window, sunlight streaming in and birds warbling, I heard those All-American words, "Keep your eye on the ball."

Every now and then they take a break from beating each other over the head to be really adorable and kind to each other.

A light exists in spring...

A light exists in spring

Not present on the year

At any other period.

When March is scarcely here
 
--Emily Dickinson
 
 
Today is the first day of spring break for Mitch.  I was trying to decide if I should get them up early and keep them on their schedule, or at least close to it.  Or should I let us all sleep in - glorious sleep? 
 
I decided to sleep in since the baby was sleeping in.  When I finally got up and stood at the kitchen sink getting a drink and thinking that I needed to wake the beasts, I looked out the window and this is what I saw.
 
 

 
 
Turns out they discovered last night that the ground in the sandbox was no longer frozen, so they got themselves up early because they had "work to do".  I don't blame them, there are few things more enticing than a virgin sandbox. 
 
I just love spring, don't you?

The Three Trumpeteers

It's good to have miscellaneous musical instruments laying around....

My Perfect Child

Here she is!

Now, anyone who knows her will know that she's far from perfect, but I just had the "good mama moment" of the year here so bear with me.

Last night we had Violet's first preschool conferences.  I've done preschool conferences before many times.  Twice a year for Henry and Mitchell, two years of preschool each so that's... uh... do I add or multiply?  Mmmm... I think i've done eight.  Yeah, eight.  Plus kindergarten, first, and second grade conferences, so i'm definitely in the double digits in my conference experience.  So far the conferences have followed a definite theme.  That theme being, "He's very bright and we love him and he has lots of friends BUT we have some serious behavior issues to work on."  Over and over again the same things from each teacher for each boy.

Violet has a lot of similar traits as the boys, but is also much more compliant and cheerful by comparison.  So I was hoping her conference might go a bit better, but I was also prepared for a list of things we need to "work on".

You could have knocked me over with a feather as I walked out of that conference.  I was stunned.  They did nothing but rave about Violet and tell me how impressed they were and how well-rounded she was.  They used words like friendly, social, independent, self-directed, and well-behaved.  She uses all the materials, she makes friends, she sings the songs, she counts, she gets a teacher when she needs help or has a disagreement with another child.  She is handling all the academic work just fine (which isn't much - counting and identifying colors and such - but still).  They couldn't think of a single thing she needed to work-on.  On the part of the conference form where you write down goals for the rest of the year they could only put "Keep up the good work!"

It just made me a little bummed that she was going to the public preschool instead of the Montessori school that the boys attended.  They both had the same teacher (poor woman!) so she got five years straight of dealing with my boys.  I was really hoping that she might have gotten to see that I'm not an awful parent.  I really CAN raise obedient and pleasant children.

Though in their defense, while obedient and pleasant is a refreshing change for our household, it is somewhat overrated.  There is definitely something to be said for wild and ornery little boys who have an incredible zest for life and a curiosity that can't be beat.  They are so much fun.  I feel very lucky to get to raise some of each kind of child.

I think we just might be okay...

Last night I got one of those rare glimpses of how siblinghood SHOULD be.  One of those moments parents dream about but rarely happen in real life.

I did a fairly adequate job of putting everyone to bed last night.  They got a bedtime snack, a story, AND got to pick where they wanted to sleep.  Henry picked Ivy's bed in the basement (Ivy picked the cosleeper in our room), Mitchell picked the couch, and Violet picked the floor in her room.  I find that when I have the guts to go ahead and let them sleep wherever they want, they usually fall asleep pretty fast.  It's annoying when they pick to be in our room or the livingroom because that kind of puts a damper on mine and hubby's nighttime "adult" activities (no, no, not THOSE adult activities, I mean like eating Kempswiches and swilling Dr. Pepper while playing cribbage).  I am pretty sure though that Mitch picks the livingroom for exactly those reasons.  He likes to eavesdrop on us and beg for some of our snacks.  Henry hasn't realized what kind of things his parents do at night so he picks the basement so he can be closer to us when we go to bed.

Anyways, everyone got tucked in bed and Mitchell informed me that he was really going to sleep in Violet's bed (since she wasn't using it anyways) but that he wanted to stay up and read on the couch until she fell asleep because she's annoying and loud (a fair evaluation).  So Henry toddled downstairs and fell asleep the minute his head hit the pillow, and Mitch started looking for a book.  I had already packed up a few boxes of books so the picking was slim. 

He turned to me, pointed to a faux-leather bound volume and asked "Is this a book of poetry?". 

I looked at the title, shocked, "No buddy, that's not poetry, that's Edgar Allen Poe.  Actually I think there are a few poems in that one, but mostly it's short stories."  This was like a dream come true.  I LOVE literature and poetry and all things related to the English language, but so far it seemed like Mitch was only interested in stuff like "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" (which I am fairly certain may have been written by the devil?  I hate those books, but hey, at this point i'll go for anything that gets him to do some independent reading.)  I looked through what was left on my shelves and found a large volume of American poetry and handed it to him.

"I like poetry", he said.  "When I read the words it makes music in my head like a song."

"Well," I said, "Songs are just poetry with music added to them, so you're right on there."  I pointed to a couple of poems in the book that were also songs - The Star Spangled Banner and America The Beautiful.

We sat down on the couch and he perused the poetry book while I sat next to him and worked on my knitting.  He then decided to write his own poetry and invited me to help him (I enthusiastically agreed).  Here's what we came up with together...

A possum, A blossom
A piece of cherry pie
A seashell on the shore
Just like a star up in the sky
Bright as a firefly

I was so proud I could burst.  When I was a teenager and imagining what my kids would be like, what motherhood would be like, THIS is what I imagined, not all the other stuff.

After he got bored of writing poetry he asked me when we were going to start homeschooling and I said "Whenever you want."  He decided he wanted to start right then.  He made himself a math folder to keep his work-in-progress in, then asked if he could work on teaching Violet to read.  Violet certainly wasn't asleep (she kept poking her head out of the door and looking at us) so I said "Sure, go ahead".  He asked her if she wanted a lesson and she was bouncing up and down and grinning as she said "Yeah!".  They went into the kitchen and Mitchell helped her spell some simple words like mom and dad with the magnetic letters.  Then they called me in to see and I watched Violet put m-o-m on the fridge.  It was adorable.  After they tired of that, the hubby tucked Violet back into bed and we taught Mitchell how to play Pente.  He did pretty well on my team (we battled Daddy) but then I played Daddy on my own a few rounds to show Mitch how to kick someone's butt at Pente.  After a bit we tucked him into bed on the couch and went outside in the garage to have a beer in private, but it was really a great night.  The kind of night that renews my faith in my kids and in my ability to mother them.  Maybe I haven't completely screwed them up yet.  Maybe there's still hope for our family :-)