I really hate the place we are right now. It seems like we are stuck between two different lives and every day I feel like I have no idea what to do. Our old life seems to be dissolving before my eyes - our little house, old friends, the kids' private school, my husband's job - but the new life hasn't really arrived yet.
With my mom, we put an offer in on a new house - 5 bedrooms, 40 acres, plenty of lovely room for our big family plus grandma (plus three dogs and at least one cat). But we're at that stage in house-buying where you do the inspections, appraisals, and whatnot. While they have accepted our offer, we don't even have a closing date yet. It's not OURS yet.
We've decided to take a new path with schooling as well. We will be trying to homeschool Mitchell unmedicated this year. Henry will attend a public kindergarten (yikes!). Violet and Ivy will come along on Mitchell's journey with us. And while I feel pretty ready for it, we've decided that we will still have the summer off and will start homeschooling after Labor Day, so we haven't begun that either.
My hubby's job is running low on work, but they don't want to fire anyone, so he has had a week off here and there lately. As you can probably imagine, that wreaks havoc on our already chaotic finances. And the worst part is that we usually don't know until each Friday whether he is going to work the next week or not.
Old friends seem to be moving on to new chapters in their lives, why does mine have to be STUCK? I take comfort in the knowledge that our new life is right around the corner, but that still makes this time suck just a little. And please don't pontificate about "Life's a journey, not a destination". I'm well aware that I should be enjoying every day and not just looking longingly to the future. But right now I feel like i'm stuck in "The Truman Show". Like I can try to leave, try to make a change, but the universe won't let me and it will never happen. I'll drive through a wall of fire and a radiation leak trying to escape and wake up back in my old house and my old life.